Sometimes since we've moved I've felt like I am learning to fly an airplane and I don't yet know what all of the buttons do. A friend of ours has a flight simulator in his lab at work, which I've seen a few times, and I've been duly awed by its sheer number of control panels, switches, and levers. I feel like life is that cockpit and I'm looking around incredulously and then realize I actually have to fly this thing. And every once in a while, I feel like I've figured out what one button does, so I excitedly move on to conquering the next. But unfortunately, the next time I come back to that first button, thinking it'll surely do what I expect, I push it and something else entirely happens. And I'm left back at square one, at which point I usually cry. I'm not cut out for the Air Force, that's for sure.
I know this is normal. I know moving is a Big Deal and I'm adjusting to a lot of changes. I know it's supposed to be hard. I'm reading this great book right now called Bittersweet: Thoughts on Change, Grace, and Learning the Hard Way by Shauna Niequist (it might warrant a post of its own at some point), and it's really helping me keep things in perspective. It's beautifully written. And sometimes it makes me cry, too.
Apparently that's the constant in my life right now.
But I guess what I'm trying to say is that as much as I'm tired of this, as much as it stinks and is no fun, I know it's okay, and I know it will be even more okay down the road. I just have to be patient. So I'm going to leave you with this passage from Zephaniah that I find comforting. May it be true for all of us.
Sing, O Daughter of Zion;
shout aloud, O Israel
Be glad and rejoice with all your heart,
O Daughter of Jerusalem!
The Lord has taken away your punishment,
he has turned back your enemy.
The Lord, the King of Israel, is with you;
never again will you fear any harm.
On that day they will say to Jerusalem,
"Do not fear, O Zion;
do not let your hands hang limp.
The Lord your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."
"The sorrows for the appointed feasts I will remove from you;
they are a burden and a reproach to you.
At that time I will deal
with all who oppressed you;
I will rescue the lame
and gather those who have been scattered.
I will give them praise and honor
in every land where they were put to shame.
At that time I will gather you;
at that time I will bring you home.
I will give you honor and praise
among all the peoples of the earth
when I restore your fortunes
before your very eyes,"
says the Lord.
Zephaniah 3:14-20 (NIV)
Amen and amen.